Wonderless (Kellic)
by ScarlettLaRouxx
Summary: Vic is just an average High School student battling depression and his own personal demons. Kellin, a boy the same age as Vic, comes along and turns Vic's whole world around. But Kellin's life isn't as perfect as his cheery moods makes it seem. How will Kellin react when Vic lets out his biggest secret? Will he run away, or the feelings be returned?
1. Trouble

Today was rather dark and dreary; not quite the kind of day to lift your spirits. In other words, it was exactly what Vic didn't need. As the rain poured down from the over-hanging clouds, Vic exited his plain, two-story home and headed for his car. It was an old, worn-out thing, but it was all he had until he could find a steady paying job. At least it ran pretty well.

Vic started the engine, a loud growl notifying the car had turned on, and proceeded to back out of the driveway. He pressed down on the gas, and in no time at all her was peacefully cruising down the old California roadways. He didn't exactly know where he was going, but as long as he was away from his home, he didn't really care. It had become a battleground between him and his younger brother, Mike, over what Vic couldn't even remember, and Vic decided removing himself from the house for a while would be the best solution.

Vic let a long sigh escape his lips as he pressed on down the long, winding road. The rain battered at the windows as the car picked up speed, seeming to create an odd symphony. Approaching the downtown area, Vic pulled off into an empty parking lot and parked the car. He stepped out into the rain, quickly realizing he'd forgotten his umbrella at home. He couldn't care less at this point, though. Taking a quick glance at the stormy clouds above, Vic began to walk down the old sidewalks that laced the streets. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans as he came upon the coffee shop he would usually escape to when he felt angry or upset. He was completely soaked as he entered the place, which earned him a few odd looks from the other people there who' been smart enough to remember and umbrella.

Vic approached the counter and placed his order or a small caramel frappe, and moved over to the pick-up area. Receiving his order shortly, Vic went over to the dark-brown, leather sofa beside the window and sat himself down, placing his drink on the glass coffee table that sat in front of him. He then pulled out his phone and selected a playlist from his music library, which consisted of mostly bands like Of Mice & Men, All Time Low, Mayday Parade—You get the picture. Along with his umbrella, Vic had forgotten to grab his headphones from off the kitchen counter. He figured so long as he kept the volume down, the other costumers wouldn't mind too much if he played the music.

The shop's bell chimed as a dark-haired man wearing dark skinny jeans, a band tee-shirt and a pair of grey Vans walked in and strolled up to the counter. Vic caught sight of him and watched as he placed his order. His wrists were covered in bracelets, Vic had noticed, which led his mind question why. He shook off a few thoughts and decided that it was just because he just simply liked wearing bracelets. Vic continued to watch as the man turned towards the pick-up area, but happened to meet Vic's gaze as he did so. Meeting his rather beautiful blue eyes in return, Vic quickly turned his head away to face the rain-soaked window, mentally cursing at himself for staring so long. He couldn't help but to stare, though. Whoever that guy was, he was just too damn attractive.

Vic shook his head and exhaled a deep breath, resting his elbow on the sofa's arm and placing his chin in his palm. He heard the man utter a "Thanks" to the lady behind the counter as he turned away and crossed the room. From the corner of his eye, Vic could see the man approaching the couch that sat on the other side of the coffee table.


	2. Meeting Perfection

"Shit.." Vic tensed up, but didn't dare let his stare leave the window. The man sat down across from Vic and placed his coffee on the table. He heard the music coming from Vic's phone and started to tap him foot to the melodic rhythm.  
"Nice music choice," he spoke up to Vic. Startled by his rather charming voice, Vic turned his head to face the guy. He seemed to be about the same age.. And he was even better looking up close..  
"Uh, thanks," Vic awkwardly replied, sitting up a bit taller in the seat. He never thought of himself as very good at conversation, so he wasn't quite sure how this scene would play out.  
"I listen to this album all the time," the man went on to say. Vic didn't reply, but returned a slow nod to his statement. This guy seemed pretty comfortable with conversing with random strangers, Vic thought to himself.  
"Oh, sorry if I' invading.." A cute smile spread across the stranger's face, though it carried an adorable sense of sincerity as it did attractiveness.  
"No, it's fine," Vic replied, an awkward half-smile struggling to show itself. He  
"I'm Kellin, by the way."  
Vic reached over to pick up his drink as Kellin introduced himself.  
"Vic," he said.  
"Nice to meet ya, Vic." Kellin smiled and reached out an open palm to Vic. With his free hand, Vic returned the hand shake. Kellin hand awfully soft hands for a guy, which caused Vic to laugh under his breath a little. Kellin seemed to notice and furrowed his brows.  
"What's so funny?" he asked with a slight smirk.  
Vic just shook his head as if he hadn't even laughed in the first place, adding a quick, "Oh, nothin'," as he took a sip of his coffee. Kellin shot him an unconvinced look, but sat back in his seat anyway. Vic picked up his phone and practically spat out his drink as he noticed the time.  
"Shit! Mike is probably freaking out," Vic mumbled as he frantically began to gather his things.  
"Mike?"  
"My younger brother."  
Kellin nodded in response as Vic started towards the door. He'd gotten so caught up in talking to gorgeo-.., I mean Kellin, that he'd forgotten he hadn't even told Mike where he was going.  
"Wait!" Vic heard Kellin shout across the room. "What's your number? We could hang out sometime." Kellin gave a hopeful smile as Vic quickly jotted down his number on a napkin. They waved goodbye as Vic sprinted out the door and to the parking lot. Luckily, it had stopped raining.

Vic hopped in his car and sped the whole way home. He arrived at his two-story abode within a few minutes and ran in, stopping in the living room to catch his breath.  
"Mike?" he called, soon hearing the footsteps of his brother descending the stairs to meet him on the ground floor.  
"Where the hell were you?" Mike spat out, though his voice hinted a tiny bit of worry.  
"I was just at the coffee shop," Vic explained. "Sorry, I should've texted you."  
Mike shrugged and walked over to the couch, lazily plopping himself down and flipping on the television.  
"Eh, whatever," he replied. "Oh, Tony and Jaime are coming over later."  
"What time?"  
"I don't know, dude. Later."  
Vic exhaled a huff and climbed up the stairs. He trudged through the dark hallway, the walls laden with dusty and forgotten family photos that just depressed Vic every time he saw them. He entered his room, closed the door behind him, flopped onto his bed and buried his face into his pillow. His mind began to wander off into his thoughts. He thought about how stupid his fight with Mike had been, and that he'd probably need to apologize sometime later. And then he thought of Kellin. How couldn't he? With his sweet voice and adorable smile.. He had the most amazing eyes, too. Vic realized he'd just barely met the guy, but talking to him today made him feel like they'd known each other for some much longer than an hour and a half. Even though they didn't really talk that much.  
"Get it together, Vic," he scolded himself. "He probably isn't even gay. He probably has a beautiful girlfriend and would think you're a complete freak if he knew you were." Vic sighed, but was snapped back to reality by the sound of his phone beeping on his nightstand.

"One Unread Message"

Vic opened the message, and was delighted to find it was from Kellin. Despite the fact the message was just a plain and simple, "Hey (:", it immediately lifted his spirits. After pondering a good response for a few minutes, Vic decided to take the safe route and replied back a "Hey".

Kellin – "What's up?"

Vic – "Not much, you?"

Kellin – "Just waiting for my friends to come get me. Then I'm off to their house."

Vic – "Oh, cool."

**Five minutes later**

Kellin – "Hey, they're here. I'll text you back in a few."

Vic – "Alright."

And then his phone went silent.


	3. Beautiful Disappointment

Vic rolled onto his back and stared up at the posters that covered his walls and ceiling; most of them were bands posters, but he had a few movie posters as well. The images for Of Mice & Mean, Motley Crue, Falling In Reverse and Green Day hung over head. Time seemed to go by faster the longer Vic stared up at that ceiling. Until he heard a knock at the door downstairs, followed by the voices of Tony and Jaime as they basically let themselves in a plopped onto the couch. Mike's voice rang through Vic's ears as he hollered his name, beckoning him downstairs to greet their friends.

Reluctantly, Vic got up and exited his room to go downstairs and socialize. He waved to Jaime and Tony as saw them, Tony sitting oddly close to Mike, however. But a not-so-new face loomed in the corner of his eye.  
"Vic! You know these guys, too?" came the familiar voice of Kellin.  
"Yeah, I live here, actually. Mike is my little brother," Vic replied, a little shocked to find the guys had known Kellin before he'd even met him. The room fell silent for a moment.  
"STAR WAS MARATHON, BITCHES!" Tony randomly exclaimed, bringing the life back to the scene.  
"Tony, Harry Potter is better and you know it," Mike retorted. The two bickered a little while longer until finally settling on an Avengers movie instead. Jaime popped some popcorn during the previews and shut out the lights. Vic sat himself at the far end of the empty couch, and Kellin sat at the other end. Vic couldn't help himself from quickly glancing at Kellin every now and then. He could see Kellin looking back sometimes, but did his best to pretend he didn't notice.

The movie soon started, but Vic's mind was elsewhere. How had the guys met Kellin first? Perhaps he just hadn't been paying any attention… But, surely he'd had to have noticed such a good-looking guy hanging around his friends? Now that he thought of it, Kellin did seem a tiny bit familiar. Maybe he was a new student at school. School… Right. There was school tomorrow. Fantastic. Vic quietly sighed and shook his head, averting his attention back to the movie—it was almost over.  
"I, uh, think I'm gonna call it a night," Vic spoke up, faking a dramatic yawn.  
"Laaaame." Mike stuck his tongue out and threw a pillow at Vic as he began to ascend the stairs. Vic returned the gesture with a friendly flip of his middle finger as he disappeared behind a corner and reentered his bedroom.  
"Bye, Vic!" Kellin's voice echoed as Vic shut the door behind him. He hadn't even said goodbye to anyone. Real attractive, Vic.  
Vic lazily flopped onto his bed after shutting out his light, and stifled a sigh. He closed his eyes and awaited sleep to come. He wasn't really in the mood to be awake anymore..

Vic awoke early the next morning to the blaring siren of his alarm clock. He sluggishly hauled himself to the bathroom to freshen up and straighten his hair. Promptly after, he changed his choice of outfit, a Red Hot Chili Peppers tee-shirt and a dark pair of skinny jeans, along with his favourite grey Vans and a black beanie. He met Mike downstairs, and the two grabbed their bags and jumped into Vic's car. They arrived at school after the ten minute drive and went off to their first period classes. Vic had Math and Mike had English. Vic sat down beside Jaime and started unpacking a few of his things, making sure he had remembered his pencil today. He usually would forget it. Kellin came in a few minutes later and took the empty seat next to Vic.  
"Hey, Vic!" Kellin whispered as he sat down.  
"Hey." Vic gave him a half-smile and a wave, though his attention was soon snapped to the front of the room by the sound of the teacher's raspy voice. He motioned for the class to pair up for the first assignment, and Vic almost immediately turned to Kellin; thankfully, Kellin had the same idea. The two moved to an empty work space towards the back of the room and began working.  
"So.." Kellin was the first to break the silence. "Wanna grab some coffee after school?"  
Yesyesyesomigodyes.  
"Yeah, sure."  
"Great! Meet you there?"  
"Sounds good."

Class soon ended and lunch seemed to come quicker today. Kellin, of course, sat with Vic and the guys, but he and Vic became engulfed in their own conversation.  
"You seem like a pretty cool guy, Vic," Kellin said.  
He thinks I'm cool..!  
"Hah, thanks.. You do, too."  
Kellin… giggled? That was just too cute.  
"You have a great taste in music, by the way," Kellin added with a smile. Vic laughed a little, remembering their first meeting at the coffee shop. The two chattered on until lunch ended, and then went their separate ways for class. Kellin wasn't in anymore of Vic's classes, so the rest of the day was sort of a blur to him. At the last bell, Vic met up with Mike who said Tony would drive him home since Vic was going out. They said goodbye and Vic walked out to his car. He smiled the whole drive to the coffee shop, even as he got out of the car and walked down the sidewalk to the building. Kellin wasn't there when Vic entered, but he figured he must just be running a little late. Vic shrugged and went to order his usual, sitting himself down on the same leather couch upon receiving it.  
Ten minutes soon passed… then twenty… thirty… After an hour Vic had given up. He picked up his empty, Styrofoam cup and crushed it in his hands, throwing the pieces out and storming out of the restaurant.


	4. Is This What You Call a Family

"Dad..," was all Kellin could sputter out as his drunken father stood before him.  
"Kellin, my boy… You look as pathetic as usual," he sneered, clutching an empty beer bottle in his fist.  
"Go away… You're not welcome here anymore…" Kellin shakily tried to stand his ground as he faced his father—the nightmare he thought was over… Without another word, Kellin's father rushed at him, bottle overhead, knocked Kellin straight into a wall. He slammed the bottle over Kellin's head, causing the glass to shatter and pierce his skin.  
"Stop!" Kellin screamed, but to no avail. His father kicked him in the side, sending him to the ground in a fit of sheering pain. He slammed his fist into Kellin's jaw as he fell.  
"You never were a fighter," Mr. Bostwick snarled. "Just a worthless disgrace." He kicked Kellin again, this time in the ribcage, and almost instantaneously bruised him. He then stumbled over to the old family photos and swiped them right off the shelves. The photos fell to the floor and shattered into thousands of pieces as they met the wood panels. Tears and blood streamed down Kellin's battered face as the sounds of the frames crashing and shattering echoed through the house. Mr. Bostwick spat in Kellin's direction and headed for the door, leaving a bleeding and shaking Kellin curled up on the floor. Agony rushed through his body. Even breathing caused him pain.  
Kellin struggled as he picked himself up off the ground, limped over to the couch, and practically let his body go limp as he hit to soft cushion. His eyes flooded with tears at this point, Kellin buried his face into his hands and cried to himself.  
"Vic is going to hate me now…" Kellin whispered to himself between sobs. He just wanted this all to end…  
And that's when he did it…  
He got up and ran to the bathroom, pulling out the blade he thought he'd forgotten about.

Vic burst into his and slammed the door behind him. He was too upset to even notice Tony asleep in Mike's arms on the couch. He simply stalked past them and fled up the stairs. He locked himself in his room and buried himself beneath his blankets. How could Kellin just stand him up like that? He probably didn't even care about him… It was probably all just some cruel, sick joke that Mike planned to get back at him for the other day. "I was stupid to believe him…," Vic whispered to himself as he shut his eyes, a single tear slowly running down his cheek.

Vic awoke the next morning, his eyes swollen from having cried himself to sleep that night. He got dressed and headed downstairs, only to find that Tony had driven Mike to school. Vic arrived to class a little later, and noticed Kellin sitting all the way at the back of the classroom. He was wearing long sleeves and a hoodie that looked two sizes too big for him. His head was down, the hood of his jacket and his bangs covering his face. Odd… He always seemed so happy… Vic took the empty seat next to Kellin's a waved at him to try to get his attention, though he was still pretty pissed. Kellin lifted his head slowly at Vic's greeting, and turned to him, tears brimming his eyes as they faced each other. All anger immediately vanished from Vic as he caught sight of Kellin's bruised jaw and black eye.  
"Kellin what happened?!" Vic exclaimed.  
"I'm… sorry… My father…" Kellin could barely even speak through the tears that were now pouring down his face. Vic brought his chair closer to Kellin's and sat down beside him.  
"Kellin… you have to tell me what happened. I need to help you…" Vic whispered, staring Kellin directly in his beautiful blue eyes. Kellin stared back, and didn't say anything or a moment. But he nodded and started to shakily explain what happened yesterday. Vic just sat there in astonishment, his eyes glued to Kellin as he spoke. He felt terrible for being angry at Kellin now…  
"I'm so sorry that I didn't—…"  
"Don't be sorry, Kellin," Vic interrupted. They sat there for a few minutes in silence as the class went on around them. However, everything seemed to be silent. As if it was just the two of them by themselves, finally alone.  
And then the bell rang.  
Kellin got up to grab his stuff and walk out, but Vic grabbed him by the wrist.  
"Ow!" Kellin yelped as Vic made contact with his wrist. He hadn't told Vic about the cuts, but he figured he'd just given it away now…  
"What?" Vic asked, removing his hand.  
"N-nothing…" Kellin shook his head and turned to leave. Vic sighed and grabbed his stuff, watching Kellin as he left the classroom. The rest of the day was painful for Vic. He still couldn't figure out what had hurt Kellin during class, or why his father would ever do such a thing to him. The two sat together once lunchtime came around, but this time away from the guys. Kellin didn't really want to be seen by anyone right now. Other than Vic, of course.  
"Kellin, what's up with your wrist? Did that bastard break it?" Vic questioned eagerly.  
"N-no… I…," Kellin couldn't even say it, it disgusted him so much. So, instead, he just pulled up his sleeves to reveal his bandaged wrists.  
"Kellin…,"Vic whispered, looking down at the bandages and then back up at Kellin. He didn't say anything else, though, and just pulled Kellin into a tight hug.  
"It'll be okay," Vic whispered, his arms wrapped tightly around Kellin. "I'm here for you."


	5. Let Love Bleed Red

"Thank you…," Kellin sighed and wiped a tear away from his cheek as he and Vic pulled out of the hug. His eyes were locked on Vic's as he spoke, Vic passing a shrug and a half-smile back.  
"It's no problem… I'm just helping someone I truly care about...," Vic replied. Kellin's cheeks flushed a bit pink, but he turned his head away slightly.  
"So… Coffee?" Vic added with a smile. "We can just take my car and come back to pick yours up if you want."  
Kellin nodded and smiled as well. "Sounds perfect."

Lunch ended shortly after the two had spoken, and the rest of the day seemed to fly by. Kellin and Vic met up in the parking lot by Vic's car and drove to the coffee shop. Mike had gone home with Tony again, which led Vic to believe something was going on between the two of them. He figured he should have found that out a while ago, though, considering how bad they were at trying to keep whatever it was they had a secret. Anyway, Vic parked the car in the same little parking lot he always did when he went downtown and the two got out and walked up the street to the coffee shop. They were once again greeted with the sweet scents of the fresh pastries leaving the oven, and the brewing coffee. They placed there orders and, once receiving them, sat down upon the fine, leather sofa where they had met.

Vic didn't have much to say at first, he just let Kellin blabber on about who knows what. He couldn't help but to just stare at Kellin as he spoke. He was beautiful in every way. Perfect hair, an amazing smile… And his eyes… They were perfect, too. But when Kellin went quiet and stared back at Vic questioningly, Vic shook his head and escaped from the trance.

"What?" He asked, looking around awkwardly.

"You seemed kinda zoned," Kellin replied, a slight smirk spreading across his face. Vic's face immediately went red at his words.

"Er… sorry, sorry."

"Anyway, as I was saying," Kellin went on to say. "You're a really great friend, Vic. I mean, no one has ever seemed to care so much about me like you. It's nice to know I have someone to lean on when things get kind of shitty, you know?"

_Friend._ That's all he was. A friend…

Vic nodded and forced a smile, soon turning away to finish his coffee. The thought of just being a "friend" to Kellin killed him inside. But… perhaps it was for the best? Kellin was probably straight, anyway. He was stupid to think a guy like Kellin could fall for, well… him. Maybe if he just told Kellin how he felt… No. No, that would be way too embarrassing. He'd definitely lose Kellin and then he'd been totally crushed.

_Just bottle it up. No one needs to know. You're lucky to even be his friend._

With their coffee finished and having nothing more to speak about, the guys headed for the door. As soon as they were out of the building, Kellin exclaimed a hushed "Wait," to Vic. Vic turned to see what he wanted.

"Do you maybe wanna head down to the beach…?" Kellin asked, somewhat nervously.

Maybe this was Vic's chance. Maybe it was a sign… No… It couldn't be. It's just a walk on the beach…

"Sure, sounds great." And with that, Vic and Kellin walked in silence down to the beach. It was a short walk, but by the time they hand reached the shore, the sun had already begun its descent. The sky was flushed pink and orange as the two strode down the shoreline. Kellin spotted a large rock and they went over and sat down.

"Y'know, I didn't think you'd really want to come down here," Kellin spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Why did you think that?" Vic seemed a bit puzzled. If anything, it was quite the opposite.

"I just thought you'd think I was weird or something…" Kellin's voice trailed off as he turned his stare towards the sun-washed horizon. Vic waited a little while before replying, trying to conjure up some sort of response, though he was at a loss for words at this point. But… Maybe this actually _was_ his chance. Maybe he should just tell Kellin how he felt… Just to get it off his chest. Because, honestly, he wasn't able to sleep at night knowing Kellin might never know how he really felt. Vic contemplated the idea for a few minutes before deciding he'd just say it. What could go wrong? The worst he could do was completely reject him and never, ever speak to him again, leaving him alone to wallow in a pit of sadness and despair, right? Well, this'll be interesting.

"Kellin, I really need to tell you something…," Vic started, fiddling with his hands nervously, not daring to make eye contact. Kellin turned his head in response, a slightly puzzled look on his face, but he was obviously trying to hide his smile.

"Okay… Please don't think I'm a freak or anything, though I know you probably will because I kinda am one, but I just… I kind of—"  
Vic was immediately cut off by Kellin as he leaned over and crashed his lips onto his. Vic's heart practically leapt out of his chest at the feeling, and he closed his eyes and just fell into it.

It was as if the world had completely stopped around them…


	6. Oh My God, This Is Paradise

Vic's POV

I felt myself go numb for a minute. What had just happened…? The sun had left the sky and Kellin and I were just sitting there in dead silence. So many emotions filled my head at the moment. Happiness, excitement, joy… and an odd sense of fear lay buried beneath them all. But, honestly, I just wanted to cry. Knowing that Kellin really did have feelings for me was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I figured I should say something at this point, but I just didn't know what. I needed to say something soon, though. I didn't want Kellin to think I didn't like him.

"Wow..," was all I could stupidly sputter out. And, of course, it made Kellin giggle that adorable little giggle. He flipped his hair and turned to me, smiling his perfect smile, his eyes illuminated by the moonlight.

"I really like you, Vic," he replied. I smiled and turned my head away. I knew for a fact my face was completely red. Kellin seemed to notice, too, because he giggled again. C'mon, Vic, just say something.

"I really like you, too. I just didn't think someone as amazing as you would ever like… well… someone like me," I managed to say, turning back to face him. Kellin gave me a sincere look and scooted closer to me.

"Why would you think that? You're perfect." He smiled and stared right into my eyes. I wanted to look away, knowing I'd melt if I stared any longer, but I just… couldn't.

_You're perfect…_

"I'm really not…," I whispered, shaking my head a bit. Kellin lifted his hand and turned my head so he was staring into my eyes again.

"Yes you are. You're amazing," he said, still cupping the side of my face his with hand. All I could do at that point was just stare back and smile. I could feel my heart melt in my chest as the seconds flew by. Kellin leaned in and kissed me again, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. I hugged him as we pulled away from the kiss, and snuggled myself into him. I couldn't help myself from smiling the biggest smile I could make.

"Vic?" He spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" I looked up at him as he said my name.

"Will you… be mine?"

My heart raced as he said the words, and all I could do was nod my head and wrap my arms back around him. He hugged me back, holding me tightly against him.

If you asked me what perfection meant, this would be it.


	7. I Don't Know What To Call This Chapter

****Hey, guys! Havn't updatd in a whil, but I've been kinda busy. So, anywho, the rest of the story will probably be in POV form, unless you guys want anymore third person. Leave comments, and don't forget to fave/follow! Thanks for reading c: ****

**[Vic's POV]**

I awoke the next morning in my own bed, the feeling of someone's arms wrapped around my torso. I looked over my shoulder to see the sleeping face of my adorable little Kellin. I smiled to myself and slowly slid out of bed, careful not to wake him. I stopped for a minute, wondering how I'd managed to wake up in my bed today, despite the fact I was certain Kellin and I had fallen asleep on the beach. I shrugged and made my way to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. Luckily, today was Saturday, so I didn't have to worry about wasting time by straightening my hair or washing my face. I nearly jumped out of my skin as Kellin showed up behind me and quietly snaked his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him.

"Jesus, Kellin. You scared the shit out of me!" I laughed and turned to peck him on the cheek.

"What, that's all I get?" Kellin replied back, reaching out his arms as I moved out of the bathroom and signaled for him to follow. I chuckled and blew him a quick kiss before grabbing his hand and leading him downstairs.

"Want anything to eat?" I offered, reaching the bottom of the staircase and making my way to the kitchen. I opened to fridge, but couldn't find anything worth eating. Kellin came up beside me and looked into the fridge as well, biting his lip.

"Wanna just go grab something?" I nodded and we changed into fresh clothes before hopping into my car ad driving downtown to the local diner. We ordered pancakes and coffee, and I hungrily munched down my food as soon as it arrived.

"It's like you haven't eaten in a week!" Kellin chuckled as I finished off the rest of my food.

"What? A guy can't be hungry?" I smiled and took a sip of my coffee, reaching my hand across the table to grasp Kellin's. I held it tight, just to ensure myself that this wasn't a dream. I was still in shock after last night, I guess. I mean, I hadn't even suspected Kellin felt the same way about me. Knowing he did brought a smile to my face. Soon enough I realized I was just sitting there staring at him, a stupid smile plastered onto my face. I met Kellin's gaze and shook my head, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. He squeezed my hand as I turned away.

"You're so cute when you blush," Kellin said. I couldn't help but smile.

We soon finished our coffee and I paid for the breakfast, despite the fact Kellin had tried so desperately for me to let him pay. We got up and headed for the door, our hands intertwined as we exited and began walking down the street. Life was absolutely perfect right now, and I wasn't about to let anything change that. I couldn't.

Just then, the sound of wheels screeching against the pavement and the cool touch of metal against my skin changed everything. Pain shot through my body and the Kellin's frantic screams were the last sounds that filled my ears before I blacked out and collided with the ground.


	8. Wake Up, Wake Up

**[Kellin's POV]**

Vic and I left the building and started making our way back to his car. We walked down the sidewalk holding hands, which, I guess, gained a few odd glances from some people, though we didn't really mind. I turned to look at him, but was immediately pushed back and out of the way of a speeding car that had somehow lost control and stalled up. I landed on the sidewalk and, when I finally found my footing, the agonizing sound of bones cracking and snapping filled my ears. I couldn't help but scream when I saw Vic's helpless body being flung backward as the front of the car made contact with him.

"Vic! No, no, NO!" I shouted, and ran towards him. Blood poured from his mouth and his eyes were closed. His body looked like a rag doll that had just been flung across some kid's playroom. I knelt down beside him as more people gathered around the scene, frantically checking the driver of the car. No one but me seemed to even notice the fact that Vic could possibly be dead. Pulling out my phone, I quickly dialed 911, but had to hand it off to some lady because I couldn't talk between my sobs.

She handed my phone back soon enough and I sat beside Vic, pulling his hair out of his face as we awaited the EMT's. When they arrived, they, of course, pulled the driver out of the car and made sure he was alright before pulling Vic out of my grasp and placing him on a stretcher. I chased after them as they shoved him into the ambulance, but they wouldn't let me in. There was no possible way of reaching the hospital, since the keys to Vic's car were still in his pocket.

I watched as the ambulance pulled off, the flashing lights and screeching sirens soon out of sight. Tears streamed down my face as I pulled out my phone again and called Mike.

"Mike… Car crash… Vic…" I tried to explain what happened, but failed miserably as my sobs became more violent. Mike asked where I was and I told him, and eventually he showed up, driven by Tony, and I hopped in the car. The drive to the hospital was painful, and I just sat in the back of the car crying into my hands. Mike had asked a few times if I could explain to him what had happened, but I, again, failed to do so. I couldn't help but feel guilty. If I had seen that car, I could've pushed Vic out of the way and it would've been me who'd been hit, not him. But, no, I can't do anything right…

We arrived at the hospital and before the car was even completely parked, I rushed out and dashed across the lot to the front doors of the emergency wing.

"Where is he?" I frantically asked the receptionist at the front desk, who gave me a confused look, though seemed to understand as she saw my eyes filling with tears.

"Are you the friend of Mr. Fuentes?" she asked. I quickly nodded, finding it pointless at this point to get into relationship details. "He's in the operating room right now. You'll have to wait a few hours until you're permitted to see him." I held in another sob and nodded, turning to the waiting room to sit down. What if he died? What if they couldn't save him? It was all my fault, right? If it had just been me… Why couldn't it have been me?

Hours passed as I waited. Mike and Tony had come to join me a few minutes after I had talked to the receptionist, but we remained quiet. I suppose it was because most of would just break down if we even tried to speak. We honestly didn't know if we'd be leaving here knowing Vic was alive. I don't even want to remember what he looked like back at the scene. All bloody and broken… It was going on three o'clock when a doctor came out from the operating room and into the lobby. He spoke with the receptionist for a few minutes before turning and walking over to the three of us, an emotionless expression plastered onto his face. I stood up immediately as he came over.

"How is he?" I piped up quickly.

"I can't say for sure. He is currently in critical condition, but the chances of him surviving are higher than that of dying. The is a chance, though, that if he does wake up, he'll be struck with amnesia. The severity of it, we won't know. But it isn't a for sure thing yet," he said, though his voice seemed a bit unsure. All I could do was nod in reply, wanting to try to contain myself at this moment.

"Can we see him?" Mike came over and stood beside me, giving the doctor a hopeful look. The doctor nodded and walked back to the big double doors that led into the critical condition area. He waved the three of us over and we followed him through the mess of hallways until we reached Vic's room. As he pushed open the doors, I felt my stomach completely explode as I saw Vic. He looked so broken… Tears slid down my face and I felt unable to move, until Tony gave me a pat on the back and helped me along. I sat myself down in a chair beside Vic's bed and carefully placed his hand in mine; he was cold… almost lifelessly cold. The only way I knew he was still alive was from the repetitive sound of the heart monitor beeping beside Vic's bed.

The doctor gave a nod and slowly exited the room, leaving Tony, Mike and I alone with Vic.

"It's all my fault…," I muttered and I rested my forehead on Vic's hand as I held it in mine, tears pouring freely down my face now.

"I'm so sorry, Vic…"


	9. I'm Terrible At Naming Chapters

****All the italicized writing is a dream.****

**[Vic's POV]**

_Kellin and I were walking down the sidewalk, just like the other day. We held hands as we walked, too. I looked up and dark clouds began to form overhead. Kellin let go of my hand and started walking away. I ran to try to catch up with him, but a black SUV spiraled out of nowhere and slammed right it Kellin, sending him flying through the air and landing face-down on the concrete. I screamed and ran over to him. His eyes were wide open and staring out into space, and his mouth was slightly open. A few ragged breaths escaped past his lips before he was completely still. No breathing, no heartbeat. _

"_No! Kellin, wake up! You have to wake up! Someone, please help!" I screamed and shouted for the passersby to help, but everyone just moved along as if nothing had even happened. I could feel a pool of blood forming around my feet as I just stood there. I knelt down by Kellin again and buried my face in his chest. His body had gone cold._

"_Kellin… please…" Nothing._

_The world around me started to go black. I could feel Kellin's body fading into the atmosphere. I sat back and looked around; Kellin was gone and I was plunged into darkness. _

_Falling… falling… falling… _

"No!" I jolted awake and sat up, only to be laid down again by the sheering pain racing through my body. I looked around and blinked my eyes a few times; I had no idea how the hell I ended up in a hospital, but I figured something must've happened that caused this pain. I also saw people. My brother, Tony and Kellin, who was curled up in a chair beside my bed. They all seemed to be asleep.

"Kellin…?" I shakily called out. He quickly awoke at the sound of my voice and turned to me, a huge smile on his face.

"You're awake!" he whisper shouted, taking my hand in his and kissing it. I chuckled, still clueless as to what happened or how long I had been asleep. Mike and Tony, who had been snuggled up together on a chair soon awoke, too, and awkwardly stood themselves up. Kellin and I gave them a knowing look, but smiled and laughed.

"How are you feeling?" Mike asked.

"Kind of shitty. But how did I get here?"

"Well…," Kellin explained the whole scene that supposedly happened two days ago. Tears were threatening to spill down his cheeks as he neared the end of the story.

"Vic… You saved my life," he whispered. "Why?"

"Why? What kind of boyfriend would I be if I had let that car hit you instead of me? Besides, I couldn't let anything hurt that pretty face of yours." Kellin giggled and I leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"I should have been the one to save you… I'm sorry."

"Nonsense!" I replied, bopping his nose with my hand. He giggled again and nodded his head.

The doctor came in a few minutes later and did a quick exam on Vic, making sure everything was okay. He gave us the all clear and said that Vic would be able to leave a little later today. Jaime showed up a little after the doctor left, guitar in hand.

"Hey, guys!" He greeted us, letting himself in and sitting on the edge of my bed. "How are you feeling, Vic?"

"Shitty."

As if on cue, Jaime started strumming along to a song I had written a few weeks ago. I laughed and started singing along to the music.

"As we wake up in your room,  
Your face is the first thing I see,  
The first time I've seen love,  
And the last I'll ever need,

You remind her that your future would be nothing without her,  
Never lose her, I'm afraid,  
Better think of something good to say

But it's all been done, more than once so I'll keep on trying,  
Oh God don't let me be the only one who says..."

I sang along to the song, Jaime coming in with the backup vocals. The whole time I was looking directly at Kellin. His cheeks flushed pink but he looked back at me, a smile plastered onto his face. A nurse came in after we finished singing and stopped us from playing any other songs, claiming we were "annoying the other patients".

The rest of us just laughed when left and Jaime quietly strummed along to another song.

"I had no idea you could sing, Vic!" Kellin chirped.

"Yeah.. I'm not that good, though," I shrugged.

"What?! You're amazing!" Kellin argued back. I couldn't help but smile. He was so cute when he tried to argue.

The rest of the time in the hospital was spent with Jaime making awkward "Your mom" jokes, Mike and Tony arguing over movies like an old, married couple, and Kellin and I talking about music. Once I was allowed to leave, the guys helped me out and Kellin and I headed to Tony's car, and Jaime left in his. We all met up at my house for movies and video games. The guys had insisted that would make me feel better. And, to be quite honest, it did. Especially knowing Kellin was there.

Kellin and I didn't play much of the videos games, considering Jaime and Mike were always hogging the controls. It was kind of funny to see them cursing at each other after one of them had died, most likely from the other killing him. Kellin and I just cuddled up on the couch and watched Tony cheer on Mike like a teenage girl as the game continued.

Despite the fact I had just gotten out of the hospital after being in a coma for two days, today turned out pretty good.

Chuckling to myself, I leaned over and gently crashed my lips onto Kellin's. Everything was perfect. Right here, right now.


	10. Forget Your Scars, We'll Forget Mine

****Heyheyhey, err'bodeh! Thanks again for reading if you've read this far. It really does mean a lot. c:****

**[Kellin's POV]**

It had been almost a week since Vic had gotten out of the hospital. He'd luckily made a full recovery, surprising most of the doctors and nurses there. We were also finally on Spring Break, which meant a whole two weeks of stress-free relaxation. And Vic, of course. Since Vic had gotten out of the hospital, I'd gone back to my own home a few times, only to find it completely vacant. All of the furniture, kitchen supplies and just about everything else had been removed. The only things that remained were a few old photos and the discarded contents from my bedroom.

No note had been left, but I figured my father had packed up all his and my mother's things and either sold them for alcohol money or taken them with him to where ever he'd run off to. Vic had practically begged me to live with him and Mike once I told him and, of course, I agreed. I mean, how couldn't I?

As the first day of Spring Break Vic, Tony, Jaime, Mike and I were going to the beach. A little cliché, but it was a nice day and we didn't want to waste it sitting around inside. Quickly, I walked to the bathroom and slipped on my swim trunks and a plain t-shirt. I turned towards the mirror to fix my hair, but I figured it didn't really matter since we'd be swimming, anyway. Something caught my eye, though… Something small and shiny… A single drop of crimson blood sat beside the small blade that lay clearly visible on the bathroom counter. My mind avoided the fact that, whoever's it was, they didn't do a very good job of hiding it and quickly fled to the assumptions of who this thing might belong to. It couldn't possibly be Vic's, right? He _was_ the one who had helped me stop, so it couldn't be. Maybe if I just pretend I didn't see it, I'll forget about it…

Shaking my head, I left the bathroom and switched off the light. I hadn't moved the blade. I joined Vic and Mike downstairs, and they seemed to pick up my worried behaviour.

"Is something wrong, Kells?" Vic came over and asked, snaking his muscular arm around my waist. I shook my head quietly and flashed him a slight smile. Vic shrugged and returned to packing away towels and other beach-related things, and I walked over to Mike and helped him make sandwiches and pack them away into a cooler. We packed in awkward silence until we were finished. Vic slung the beach bags over his shoulder and we all walked out to his car. He shoved the bags in the trunk and we all climbed in, Vic in the driver's seat, myself in the passenger's and Mike in the back like a little kid.

"Why can't I sit up front?" Mike whined to Vic.

"Because, you're the little kid here," Vic replied, Mike returning the comment with a roll of his eyes and a huff. I couldn't help be laugh at the two. Vic started the car and backed out of the driveway. We were supposed to meet Tony and Jaime at the beach.

We were about halfway there, and I could feel Vic's hand reach over and intertwine itself with mine. I smiled and squeezed his hand in mine. It was nice knowing I could do that. Just knowing Vic was there was the best feeling in the world. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him. If it weren't for him, I'd still be self-harming, and I can't ever thank him enough for helping me through that.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the engine cutting off and the slam of Mike's door shutting as he got out of the car. I stepped out and saw Tony practically jump into Mike's arms as he left his own car. Jaime showed up a few minutes later and helped Vic unpack the car.

"Ready to go, guys?" Jaime asked, taking the last of the bags and shutting the trunk. A chorus of "Yeah"s signaled us to move down the wooden-planked pathway and towards the shore. Vic came beside me and grabbed my hand as we stepped onto the soft sand. We walked down to the shore until we found a nice spot to set our stuff down, which is kind of hard to do in the crowded California beaches because of all the tourists. Once we did find a spot, though, we quickly set our stuff down and pulled off our t-shirts; well, everyone except Vic.

"Last one to the water is a loser!" Jaime yelled out and started running down to the water, followed by Mike and Tony.

"Vic, aren't you going swimming?" I asked as Vic plopped down on one of the towels. I sat down beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Vic sighed and rested his head on my shoulder, which didn't exactly answer my question, but I figured something was wrong. But… why? He seemed so happy on the drive over. I nudged him a little and he sat up, looking down at his palms.

"I can't…" he muttered.

"Can't what? Can't swim? Don't worry, I can tea-.."

"No, that's not it…" Vic exhaled a sigh and started to lift up his shirt to reveal his lower abdomen; it was laced with about twenty cuts which looked pretty new. I couldn't help but lift my hands and place them over my mouth in shock as Vic turned away and sat back down. I immediately scooted over to him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"When did you do that?" I asked quietly.

"I dunno. A few days ago… I just felt really bad about scaring you so bad with the car thing, and I know I'm just going to screw this up and I-.."

"Vic! The car accident wasn't your fault!" At this point he had a few tears running down his cheeks. I turned his face towards fine and stared him right in the eyes. "Don't worry, Vic, everything will be alright," I whispered, wrapping my arms around him again.


	11. I'm Not Okay

**[Vic's POV]**

I returned Kellin's embrace and wrapped my arms tightly around him. He always did give really good hugs. But I couldn't help but feel guilty now. All I seemed to be doing lately was fucking things up and letting the people who mattered the most to me down. And it hurt. It hurt like a fucking knife in my chest.

But I couldn't let Kellin know. He already worries too much about me.

That's one thing I really admire about Kellin; despite all the shit he's going through, he manages to put everyone else before him. Thinking about that, I start to feel like even more of an asshole. Here Kellin is, comforting me on the beach because of my own stupid, selfish problems while his father left him homeless and fled the state with practically everything he owned. I need to get my shit together.

"So, you wanna go swimming or are we just gonna sit here?" Kellin speaks up, poking my shoulder. Plastering a painful smile to my face, I nod and take his hand. We race down to the shore and stand, hand in hand, as the waves roll up and surround our ankles. Though the view and adorable boy standing next to me are quite lovely, my mind simply won't let me enjoy anything. Hateful thoughts pour through my mind. Voices shout at me that I'm not good enough for Kellin, and how I'm selfish for dragging him into my problems.

"_He doesn't need you!" _they shout.

"_He deserves better than you! You're worthless!"_

The screaming is silenced and I'm snapped back into reality by the feeling of salt water being splashed into my face, and someone tugging on my hand, pulling me farther into the water.

"C'mon, Vic!" I hear Jaime yell as he splashes around in the waves, Tony and Mike not too far off, either. I laugh a bit as Kellin and I venture farther into the tides. Once we're far enough out, we start paddling around and splashing each other in the face. The salty water burns like hell on my stomach, but I shake off the feeling. I could tell by the way Kellin looked at me that he could sense my pain. He swam over and squeezed my hand below the surface of the water, giving me a reassuring smile.

After about half an hour of swimming, we all hauled ourselves onto the shore to chow down on whatever Mike had decided to pack for us. I was actually glad we'd be eating now. I felt like I hadn't eaten in days at this point. We plopped ourselves down on our towels, Kellin next to me, Mike next to Tony and Jaime by himself. Mike reached into the cooler and picked out some sandwiches and passed them around to all of us.

Peanut-butter and Jelly? I should've known.

We're all kind of silent as we eat, which I figured was because everyone was so hungry from swimming for a half an hour. But the silence let my mind trail back to the terrible thoughts that hung over me like storm clouds. The voices returned to shouting how worthless and selfish I was, and how Kellin would be better off without me. I couldn't help but agree with them, though. Perhaps Kellin _would_ be better off without me. I mean, he'd be able to sort out his own problems without needing to worry about me and my idiotic ones, right? I honestly couldn't bear to know I'd worried Kellin so much. I knew he wanted to help me, but what about him? I was supposed to be helping _him_, not the other way around.

I slowly exhaled a sigh, louder than I intended to, which gained a few puzzled looks from the others. I shook it off and consumed the last few bites of my sandwich, hoping everyone would think I was just randomly sighing. Everything is fine, right?

No.

The time was about four o'clock now, and we decided it would be best to pack up and head home. Mike, Kellin and I threw our bags in the back of my car while Jaime and Tony piled their belongings in the back of Jaime's car. We said our goodbye's for the day and promised to meet up again some other time this week before separating and hopping into the car. I slid into the driver's seat once more, Kellin beside me and Mike in the back. We left the parking lot and drove home, silence practically suffocating me the whole way back. Kellin would reach his hand over every now and then and entwine his fingers with mine, mouthing "it'll be okay" and passing a genuine smile to me. I'd respond with the best smile I could possibly fake and squeeze his hand in mine before turning my attention back to the dull roads.

I really just wanted to fall asleep right now, though. Because I know if I do, there's that small possibility that I won't wake up. I know that's a bit morbid, but somehow, it gave me an odd sense of comfort.


	12. Broken Hearts and Broken Promises

**[Jaime's P.O.V]**

Have you ever started to question something you've known was absolutely right? Or… perhaps _thought_ was right? Well, I suppose you could say that's what's happening to me lately. Ever since Kellin and Vic started dating, anyway. I don't want to say I'm jealous—because I'm not—but I just can't stand seeing the two of them together. I don't know what it is, but every time I see them laughing or hugging, I just feel my heart sink to the bottom of my chest.

Everyone thinks I'm straight, including myself, but… I'm not so sure anymore. I mean, is it normal to feel attracted to another guy, and only _that_ guy?

I started to ponder these thoughts as I walked into my room and shut the door behind me, promptly flopping onto my bed and throwing a pillow over my face with slight frustration. What the hell are these feelings? I guess I've kind of felt this way about Vic for a while, but I never really took any notice to them. And now that Kellin's in the picture, I can't fight them. But I couldn't let Vic—or anyone—know. I don't think I could ever purposely break Vic and Kellin up. Vic would be crushed, and I'd hate to see him so upset.

So, I guess that's it. I, Jaime Alberto Preciado, have a crush on Victor Vincent Fuentes.

And I have absolutely no chance with him whatsoever.

Great.

Exhaling a sigh, I shut out the light on my nightstand and roll over onto my side. Maybe sleep will help me clear my mine and set this mess straight.

**[Kellin's P.O.V]**

Vic and I had changed into out pajamas and were now sitting on the couch, watching some cheesy old movie I'd forgotten the name of. Vic had his arms wrapped around me, and my head was on his chest, and everything just seemed to be right at this moment in time.

"I'm glad I have you, Vic," I whispered to him, snuggling myself into him.

"I'm glad I have you, too, Kells," he replied back, wrapping his arms tighter around me and kissing the top of my head. I love when he does that. But there was something I needed to do. Pulling myself up, I sat myself so I was directly next to Vic and turned him to face me.

"Vic?"

"Yes, beautiful?"

"Promise me that you won't hurt yourself anymore." I took his hands in mine and squeezed them tight as I said this. Our gazes locked for a moment, and I could see Vic blink back a few tears that had started to well up in his beautiful brown eyes. He smiled, though. It was a weak, slightly nervous smile, but it was still a smile.

"I… I promise I'll try," he replied. I smiled back, too, and pulled him into a tight hug. It hurt knowing he felt the need to do what I did, and I just wanted to help him out of whatever depression he felt at the moment. I never want to see the people I love feeling the same pain I felt.

**[Vic's P.O.V]**

I know Kellin means well, and that he wants to help me through whatever depression shit I have, but I keep feeling guilty for making him worry. It's like the guilt is practically sucking every last bit of life I have left, and soon enough, I'll just be an empty shell.

We'd made our way to bed about an hour ago, Kellin having fallen asleep in my lap, forcing me to carry him up to be. I didn't mind, though, considering Kellin was literally lighter than a feather. I laid him in bed and climbed in beside him, pulling the covers over us both, but couldn't manage to fall asleep. Those dreadful, screeching voices rang through my ears, shouting such vile things at me. How could anyone possibly fall asleep to that?

I sighed and rolled onto my side, away from the sleeping Kellin, and let a exasperated sigh rush past my lips. I couldn't take this much longer. I can't keep hiding this pain from the people who matter most to me. As far as I know, Jaime, Tony and Mike haven't really noticed my depression, but it won't be much longer until they find out.

Having had enough, I silently slipped out of bed and snuck off to the bathroom down the hall, careful not to wake anyone. I slowly entered and shut the door behind me, sliding down to the floor with my back pressed against the wall. I buried my face in my hands and let the tears I had kept from falling all night roll down my cheeks and drip onto the tile. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I'm not good enough for Kellin. I'm not. He's so perfect and beautiful and nice and funny and I'm just…

I'm just _me_. And _me_ isn't good enough. Not for Kellin.

It was about 2 o'clock in the morning now, and I pulled myself up from the floor to face my ugly self in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, and my hair was a complete mess; I couldn't take looking at myself. Compared to Kellin, I looked like absolute shit.

I frantically searched through my drawers and medicine cabinet for any sort of release. It took me a while, but I finally found what I was looking for. That tiny, beautiful… and yet so deadly, piece of cold metal. I spun the thing around between my fingers for a moment, remembering the promise I had made to Kellin. What if he found out? What would he think of me? He would probably hate me for breaking my promise… Just give him another reason to find me worthless like everyone else does.

Inhaling a deep breath, I rolled up my sleeve and traced over my old scars with my fingers. Taking in another ragged breath I slashed the blade across my wrists, feeling some sort of twisted relief as I saw the little beads of blood rise and trickle down my forearm. I did this for a while, until at least ten new cuts had formed along the underside of my already scarred arm.

But my breath caught in my throat as I heard the bathroom door creak open, and felt the presence of someone else behind me.

"V-Vic…? What are you doing…?"

I immediately felt my entire chest cave in at that very moment.


End file.
